No More Poems! A Book in Verse that Just Gets Worse (Rhett Miller)

Title:  No More Poems!  A Book in Verse that Just Gets Worse

Author:  Rhett Miller

Illustrator:  Dan Santat

Target Ages:  7-12

Genre:  Children’s Poetry Collection

Publisher Summary: 

Poems (Un) Fit

For the Modern Family

POEMS for kids who wrestle when they

should go to bed.

POEMS for when you don’t brush your

teeth (and you should brush your teeth,

but if you don’t, you still get a POEM.

POEMS for parents desperate to get

someone in this dang house to go to bed.

POEMS for devices, which are basically

a part of this family now.

POEMS for kids who STILL don’t have a

DOG, which is a CRIME.

POEMS for rock star dads and for the kids

who put up with their singing.

POEMS for sisters who aren’t allowed to

murder their little brothers, not even once.

POEMS for people who write POEMS, and

POEMS for being DONE. WITH. POEMS.

POEMS for all kinds of weirdos.

Especially you.

Memorable Poem Selection:

“My Secret Karate”

There’s a type of karate I specialize in

I invented it all on my own

No one has witnessed my secret karate

It’s meant to be practiced alone

I stand on my left foot and raise my right leg

Using muscles in abs, thighs and tush

And with just the toe of my special blue sneaker

I make the toilet flush

I toggle the lever or mash down the button

Or lean on the handle just so

That way my fingertip never gets yucky

Thanks to the skills of my toe

Courtesy’s something my mom always taught me

Starting when I was a kid

So using the toes of my special blue sneaker

I lower the seat and the lid

My secret karate is practiced in private

In public bathroom stalls

I don’t mean to brag but my balance is awesome

I never touch the walls

I don’t have a name for my potty karate

I might call it Tae Kwon Doo

Or maybe I’ll say I’m a third degree black belt

In the top secret art of Kung Poo

Evaluation:

There are some fantastic poems in this collection.  Right off, I was captivated with the sample poem above, “My Secret Karate.”  I think everyone can relate to the public bathroom anxiety of trying to touch as little as possible.  The comparison to a special karate (i.e. Tae Kwon Doo or Kung Poo) is witty and amusing. 

Equally so, I love “My Device” (see picture). Santat’s use of text boxes perfectly compliments the poem. Miller captures the text-saturated and communicative handicap younger generation in a poignant and humorous way through irony and word play. 

Some other favorites are “My Homework,” “Weirdos of the World Unite,” and “Purple Pox.”  This collection is appealing to kids with its inventive way of looking at everyday issues and experiences.  Santat’s illustrations are boisterous and imaginative, often adding layers to the already absurd scenarios.    

“Brotherly Love” is one poem I would have left out.  On one hand, it illustrates the often-contentious sibling relationship, which is a popular topic in children’s literature.  However, it goes a bit far asking the girl not to drown her brother in the bathtub or to pour gasoline on him.  Yes, the speaker is saying, “don’t do it.”  My question is, why even suggest these as possibilities—even in a “funny” context?  I felt uneasy reading it—especially in a children’s book.  Thinking of creative tortures that are not really dangerous would have been better option for an otherwise solid children’s poetry collection. 

Aside from that one objection, I enjoyed No More Poems! 

Check out more great poems and poetry books at The Poem Farm for Poetry Friday.